so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
