I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
