this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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