Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize
