Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
