i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
