he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
