Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
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