your parents love me but you hate me
Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Randomize
