first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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