She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
