I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
