Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Randomize
