She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
