Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Randomize
