And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
We had to coat check the pizza.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Randomize
