i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
