apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Come on in and take your pants off
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