I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
