shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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