I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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