you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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