btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
