How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
