It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
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