That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
