Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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