how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
