Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Randomize
