we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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