What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize