Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Randomize
