so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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