She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
false alarm. still invincible.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize