please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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