i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Randomize
