Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Randomize
