things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
You may now shotgun with the bride
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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