We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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