It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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