Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
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