i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
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