If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Randomize
