It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
I did not marry a roomba.
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