spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Randomize
