I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
