just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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