New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
