Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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