so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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