As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
