I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
