you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Randomize
