the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
