Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
