bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
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