You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I woke up under a house in Key West
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