I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
This toilet bowl is my home.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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