im drinking this country out of the recession.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Randomize
